bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
