how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
