CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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