Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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