Define "chronic" masturbator.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
