kristin has been a bad kristin
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
