i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just had sex bonerless
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
