If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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