He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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