YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
