Swine flu. Run for my life!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize