ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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