READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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