he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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