i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
