Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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