That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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