so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
