There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
