I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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