my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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