I would go down on you faster than GM stock
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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