TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize