do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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