I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
