My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
