I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I touched a dick in church today
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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