The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
