I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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