my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
