Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Randomize
