I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
