I want to have your abortion
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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