Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
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