Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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