But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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