remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
