Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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