in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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