I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
babies were throwing up all over the place
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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