wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
