fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
