As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
