tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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