can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
