The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
