Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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