You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
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