Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
