sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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