Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
