you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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