i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He felt like a one man threesome
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize