guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
