I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
