im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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