We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
