she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Did I show you my penis last night?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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