I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
